Anxiety. It is an invisible illness that many individuals are affected by. Anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18% of the population. (source: National Institute of Mental Health)
For those of us who endure anxiety disorders, it is quite difficult to explain to those who do not.
Phrases we often hear are:
- “snap out of it”
- “you’re being ridiculous!”
- “get over yourself”
- “You don’t try hard enough”
- “You’re just lazy”
People misunderstand anxiety disorders for laziness, or a person who is unmotivated to shape a better life for themselves. This is untrue. The truth is those with anxiety often do not have reasons for their behaviors, and do try to fight against them.
People who have this disorder will often exhibit many different behavior that society may misunderstand, or fail to recognize as a symptom.
Below are a few of them:
- decline invitations, even if they wish to go somewhere
- Imagine the worst possible scenario in every situation
- compare their success to those who are close in age to them, such as friends and siblings
- the feeling of being too mentally and physically weakened by the affects of their anxiety
Read more here
It is important to change this stigma, because this can help those living with and without the disorder. Here is some information on signs, symptoms, and factors of anxiety disorders.
If you are living with an anxiety disorder, know that you are not alone, and that help is available.
A letter to my future wife…
My Dearest Serenity,
As the seasons change, so do our lives. I would like to assure you that in the face of it all, I would do my best to support any decision you come to form. I promise to be a safe harbor for those occasions when you need to break apart. I shall try to my very last breath to provide you bliss, joy, and peace of mind. In times of hardship, I will maintain an open mentality, so that our differences may never harm us. I vow to love you, even into our afterlife. You are my dream, and I will forever care and support you.
All my love,
“Who the hell are you? Well if I knew that I could dismiss my therapist, couldn’t I?” ~ Colin and Finn/Gilmore Girls
nature’s broken power
winter’s treasured abyss above
Where am I? This obscure darkness is clouding any glimmer of light.
Have I perished? Is this my eternal damnation?
My mortal frame will not shift. My limbs are frozen as if I were a cement statue on display for anyone to glare and snicker.
I no longer feel agony, merriment, or even irritation. My physical form has become a ghost, a hallow shell that harbors my beating heart.
Wait. Is my heart beating? I no longer can comprehend.
What if the end isn’t near? How will I be freed from these shadows?
Is solidarity eminent? I can’t end like…
The excerpt above is written from a thought perspective.
Like many people in the world, I am a person who has a seizure disorder. I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was a little girl, and have lived with it for over twenty years. In most recent years, it has actually become more difficult.
Written above is what comes to mind when I think about what happens. Even though I am unconscious when I have a seizure, I wake up feeling disoriented. Usually, I have the feeling of “If I did not come out of that, I could have died”. Not being able to utilize my motor skills is terrifying, discouraging, distressing, and tiresome. Above are my thoughts on what I believe I would contemplate in my own consciousness during a seizure.
Click here for more information on seizure types and ways to help people with Epilepsy!
Hope you enjoy it, and thanks so much to all those who read my blog posts!!
“There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all.”
– Cristina Yang/Grey’s Anatomy
Death. It is something most of us are afraid of, even myself. Though, I am not necessarily afraid of its shadowy claws creeping up behind with a knife coming to claim my soul. I am frightened by the method in which I will depart from this physical life. I am scared to leave my most precious treasures behind. Mostly, I am terrified I will pass with unfinished business, and have made myself a zero in this world.
Time eludes us all. Death. It sneaks upon us like a stealthy, slithering snake and when it arrives, it wastes us until our souls are separated from our physical form. Someday, we will die. Be thankful that day is not today.