Here’s to our future

A letter to my future wife…

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My Dearest Serenity,

As the seasons change, so do our lives. I would like to assure you that in the face of it all, I would do my best to support any decision you come to form. I promise to be a safe harbor for those occasions when you need to break apart. I shall try to my very last breath to provide you bliss, joy, and peace of mind. In times of hardship, I will maintain an open mentality, so that our differences may never harm us. I vow to love you, even into our afterlife. You are my dream, and I will forever care and support you.

All my love,

Siren

Seized into Darkness

Where am I?  This obscure darkness is clouding any glimmer of light.  

Have I perished? Is this my eternal damnation?

My mortal frame will not shift.  My limbs are frozen as if I were a cement statue on display for anyone to glare and snicker.

 I no longer feel agony, merriment, or even irritation.  My physical form has become a ghost, a hallow shell that harbors my beating heart.  

Wait. Is my heart beating?  I no longer can comprehend.

What if the end isn’t near?  How will I be freed from these shadows?

Is solidarity eminent? I can’t end like…

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The excerpt above is written from a thought perspective.  

Like many people in the world, I am a person who has a seizure disorder.  I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was a little girl, and have lived with it for over twenty years.  In most recent years, it has actually become more difficult.  

Written above is what comes to mind when I think about what happens.  Even though I am unconscious when I have a seizure, I wake up feeling disoriented.  Usually, I have the feeling of “If I did not come out of that, I could have died”.  Not being able to utilize my motor skills is terrifying, discouraging, distressing, and tiresome.  Above are my thoughts on what I believe I would contemplate in my own consciousness during a seizure.

Click here for more information on seizure types and ways to help people with Epilepsy!

Hope you enjoy it, and thanks so much to all those who read my blog posts!!

~SirenCay

Quote of the day

“There comes a point where it all becomes too much.  When we get too tired to fight anymore.  So we give up.  That’s when the real work begins.  To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all.” 

– Cristina Yang/Grey’s Anatomy


~Siren Cay

Death’s Shadow

Death. It is something most of us are afraid of, even myself. Though, I am not necessarily afraid of its shadowy claws creeping up behind with a knife coming to claim my soul. I am frightened by the method in which I will depart from this physical life. I am scared to leave my most precious treasures behind. Mostly, I am terrified I will pass with unfinished business, and have made myself a zero in this world.

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Time eludes us all. Death. It sneaks upon us like a stealthy, slithering snake and when it arrives, it wastes us until our souls are separated from our physical form. Someday, we will die. Be thankful that day is not today.

~SirenCay

Moonlit Love

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“You love her, don’t you?” He asked as a small grin graced his face.

“Is it that obvious?” I smiled like a love struck teenager as I watched her walk away and wished for one last glance of her luminous, moon-like beauty.

To my surprise, she turned her head just enough that our eyes met.  My heart fluttered in my chest as my cheeks turned bright red.  She waved back at me, her eyes glistening under the lustrous crescent moon.  She turned her back to me and proceeded to stride further and further away, her long flowing brunette hair blowing freely in the wind.

I wanted to see her again.  Before she vanished out of sight, I hurried toward her.

“Princess!”

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I hollered out to her.  At the echo of my voice, she halted and spun around to meet my gaze.

“What is it?”

Shaking with unimaginable nervousness, I fell before her and took her soft, majestic, magic hands in my own and looked up into her clear, sparkling blue eyes.

 “Moon Princess.  I know, I must seem insignificant to you as I am, but a mere prince from this planet, but I…” I paused.  “I wB37NGYKant to know if I will ever see you again?”

A single tear slid down my face as I prepared for the worst.  The princess smiled, knelt down in front of me and wiped my cheek with her sleeve. Then she asked.

“Do you want to see me again?”

She stared at me with a look of curiosity on her face.  Without any hesitation, I graciously brought her hand to my lips and kissed it gently.

“I would love nothing more.”

~SirenCay

Pictures are from the hit anime Sailor moon crystal.  The first picture is fanart created by mimiclothing of Deviantart.